The recent birth of our first child has tested our patience like nothing in the previous 5 years that we’ve been together.  There’s been frustrations that neither of us could have ever imagined, mixed with confusion, mixed with feelings of being overwhelmed to a point where you start to believe its permanent, mixed with a sense that you’re simply doing a bad job.  And though the parenting experience is greater in measure than any other we’ve had both individually and as a couple, we have still managed to go up when the other has gone down.

My wife went down first, seeming like she’d never go back up, and I held my position in the air like a champ.  Then, when I couldn’t balance my emotions anymore, I dropped like a rock, and magically she was there to get me back on par.  Somehow, some way, my breakdown made something in her subconscious click when she realized that it was her turn to be the supporter.  And since then, we’ve managed to both stay relatively sane and happy.  Though life with a colicky, acid-reflux stricken newborn hasn’t gotten any easier, we both know that deep down we have each other to rely on, and that alone gets us through the tough times.

My advice is: If you’re in a relationship that lacks this emotional support from either end, there’s something wrong.  But if you do have the ability to rely on your partner the same way they can rely on you, then take a step back and realize that what you have outweighs any frustrations or annoyances that you may face, no matter how big they seem.  Once you master the teeter-totter, the rest will come easy.