Dear Kashi,

Your constant advertising, and presence in my local organic grocery store has been effective at making me feel like I should choose your cereal over the usual suspects like Crispix or Honey Nut Cheerios. “Strawberry Fields,” I thought, “that could be healthy yet delicious choice for me in the mornings.” Coupled with some lactose-free, fat free milk, I figured your cereal would be just what I needed to start my day off right. The price was $57,000 a box like every other cereal on the market, so that didn’t throw me. Plus the box was so cute that I almost felt the same allure that forces you to buy a puppy out of a pet store window. Well much like buying a puppy, it’s really great when you get it home, and then reality sets in. In the case of your cereal, why did I just pay all of King Midas’s gold to have 2 bowls of cereal when I can get at least 4-5 out of a regular box for the same price? Is it because your cereal is “organic?” I’m all for eating healthy, but is it so impressive that your corn and wheat were grown without pesticides, or on a more beautiful farm, by friendlier farmers than the corn and wheat that General Mills uses? Listen, I’m not going to pay a $1 for 5 pieces of gum, and I’m not paying $4.99 for 2 bowls of cereal. It tastes great, but so do all the other cereals. Please start making adult-sized boxes of cereal, or cut your prices in half at once. Thanks in advance for your cooperation in rectifying this matter.

Sincerely,