Christmas lights & Curry: Milon Restaurant NYC

Being that I live in the greatest city in the world, that also happens to be a Mecca for fine cuisine, I try and make it a point to document any restaurant that I feel is worth documenting. As I set out on my path of gluttony, I constantly consider all of my readers both near and far and feel obligated to enlighten you all on all of my culinary discoveries. In layman’s terms, I will help you all eat lots of good food and get really fat. With this in mind, let’s get into Milon Restaurant. (note: this is normally where I link the restaurant’s website, but hence there is none.)

Milon is one restaurant in a cluster of 4 on 1st Avenue between 5th and 6th st. Picture a square that’s divided into 4 equal parts, and Milon is the top left portion of the square. The 2 downstairs restaurants look like your standard “hole in the wall” Indian Restaurant. They are basic, understated, and seem to get far less business then their 2 upstairs neighbors. The staircase in the middle of this curry cluster usually has a line, but as soon as you as much as glance at either of the two restaurants, you will hear competing shouts from the restaurants’ two gatekeepers. This is part of the allure.

But here’s the catch: you can’t not look at the restaurants. Imagine the gaudiest array of Christmas lights you can imagine, then multiply that by 5. They’re freakin’ everywhere, and the inside of the restaurant has mirrored walls which seem to multiply the amount of lights yet again.  Oh and don’t think these lights are there specifically for Xmas.  Nope, in Milon everyday is Xmas! As you inevitably become enamored, freaked out, or simply disgusted by this light display, the two gentlemen start their rants that usually include such catch phrases as “My friend, my friend,” “Hello pretty lady,” or my favorite “B.Y.B, B.Y.B!” In case you were wondering, all of the restaurants are in fact B.Y.O.B, but I guess they don’t care if it’s your “own” booze, or somebody else’s. What’s great about this arrangement is that you can literally bring anything. Up until the other night I thought it was just beer and wine (with no corkage charge by the way), until I noticed a table doing shots of Absolute at the table.

But getting back to the dharma doormen, they basically put on a show of trying to tell you that each of their restaurants are better than the other. They never acknowledge one another, the just yell at you to come into their place, over the other guy’s. Now I’ve only eaten at Milon, because that’s the one I was first taken to, but that is the only one of the 4 that seems to always have a little bit of a wait, and in my mind that makes it the best. Here’s the best part: rumor has it that there’s only one kitchen for all 4 restaurants. What this means is that one guy probably rents 4 retail spaces, and for whatever reason thought it would be funny to divide it into 4 restaurants, that seemingly all compete with one another. As strange as that may be, it actually seems to work.

Once you make get inside, you will notice that there is barely enough room to walk. The entire restaurant is probably 12-15 feet wide and 30 feet long. The tables are packed in there like Mex… Ind… sardines, and being seated is a task in itself, especially in the blistering cold when you have to peel off layers of clothing like an onion, because the restaurant is as hot as Hades.  Once you sit down and get settled, the waitstaff is very attentive and friendly.  They’ll uncork  your wine, bring you water, and some deliciously thin cracker/chip kind of things, along with an assortment of condiments.

The menu is not one of those “this is it?” kind of things.  There are so many different choices of everything, that it makes it almost impossible to decide on one thing.  The beauty is that you don’t have to.  The menu is cheeeeeeeap, and that ain’t always easy to find here in the big snApple.  From the apps., to the breads, to the main dishes, and the complimentary mango ice cream they give you at the end of each meal, everything is delicious.

The most unique thing about Milon other than the non-seasonal light display, is the atmosphere.  Though jam packed, every patron seems not only happy, but also seem to be having a blast.  The music they play is typically techno-esque.  It’s not something you’d ever put on your iPod, but it totally fits the mood and blends well with the other Diwali Riddems that often rock the house.  Oh and every night is someone’s birthday.  Not just someone, but more like everyone.  I’ve literally never been there without at least 5 birthdays happening, and when they do, the place turns into an all out disco.  The lights dim, a plastic disco ball spins, and the music gets loud as they play a version of “Happy Birthday” that would make you want to jump on the table and do the “re-run.” Overall, it’s a pop-lockin’ good time, and well worth the money.