Elizabeth Lambert

This has been all over the news, so I’m not exactly bringing the scoop here, but I have to say that of the millions of Youtube videos that I’ve forced my brain to sit through over the last four years, this one is right up there with my faves. This young soccer hooligan is totally brutal. I love her, in fact. Elizabeth Lambert vents the rage and frustration of every concerned U.S. citizen who’s lived through the last two recession-fed years; and violence looks so much better when it’s coming through the lens of a 20-year-old woman. Don’t it?

I’m giving Maxim two days before they call Lambert up and offer her a bazillion dollars for a semi-nude photo shoot. Hell, it may well have already happened.

Final note: Upon watching this video for a second time, I have to conclude that there’s actually something special about Lambert. Because that ponytail pull was not just a singular occurence. She makes like five or six dirty plays in the game, including kicking the ball at full speed into a player’s face after play’s stopped. She has some notable fury and rage inside of her and maybe Ballantine can offer her a two-book deal (I’d read her memoir over Sarah Palin’s). Seriously, she has to play this right and make it work for her. Hit the Daily Show, hit The Colbert Report; come out bold, not apologetic! You only get the chance to pull on the ponytail of the national consciousness once in your life, so don’t pass it up.